The Human Mind Is A Delusion Generator,

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.

On The Keyboard Of Life, Always Keep One Finger On The Escape Key.

The Job Isn't Done Until You've Blamed Someone For The Parts That Went Wrong.

Always Postpone Meetings With Time-wasting Morons

We Know The Goats Are Imported Because They Don't Speak English.