The Human Body Is Like A Condominium.

If You Go To A Bad Movie, It's Two Hours. If You're In A Bad Movie, It's Two Years.

Men Like A Ref Decision Because They Just Want To Get Back To The Game.

The Greatest Jewish Tradition Is To Laugh. The Cornerstone Of Jewish Survival Has Always Been To Find Humor In Life And In Ourselves.

A Dog Will Stay Stupid. That's Why We Love Them So Much. The Entire Time We Know Them, They're Idiots. Think Of Your Dog. Every Time You Come Home, He Thinks It's Amazing. He Has No Idea How You Accomplish This Every Day. You Walk In The Door; The Joy Of This Experience Overwhelms Him. He Looks At You, He's Back. It's That Guy, That Same Guy. He Can't Believe It. Everything Is Amazing To Your Dog. Another Can Of Food? I Don't Believe It.

Men Don't Care What's On Tv. They Only Care What Else Is On Tv.