The Hardest Thing About Moving To California

What Happened Was, I Always Wanted To Be A Singer/songwriter Kind Of Guy Like A James Taylor Or Crosby, Stills And Nash Type Of Thing; I Went To A Lot Of Coffee Houses And Used To Watch All Those Guys, But I Never Had The Nerve To Get Up And Do It Because Singing Seems So Personal And Intimate To Me. It Was Too Revealing.

I Like To Stuff Myself At Thanksgiving, Not Turkeys.

Never Wear A Red T-shirt To Target. I Enjoy Helping People, But Not Every Two Minutes.

Me And Conan O'brien And Robert Smigel And Dana Carvey Wrote A Script Called 'hans And Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' And It Was Going To Be Co-produced With Arnold Schwarzenegger, And He Was Going To Co-star In It. We Had A Deal With Sony, We Got Paid To Write It, And It Was A Musical, But It Never Got Made Because...i Think Arnold Kind Of Backed Out At The Last Minute Because He Was Getting Cold Feet Because ;the Last Action Hero' Had Come Out, Where He Was Parodying Himself. But It Was A Really Funny Script, And I Wish It Could've Seen The Light, Because I Think It Would've Done Really Well.

Roxanne Came Along In '86, When I Was Doing A Lot Of Stand-up. I Auditioned For The Movie, And Of Course I Was A Huge Steve Martin Fan, So I Really Hoped I Would Get This Part. I Don't Think There Was Any Part In Particular That I Auditioned For. I Just Went In And Talked With Them. There Were So Many Parts In There, And So Many Comedians Ended Up Getting In That Movie, Playing Different Firemen And Townspeople.