The Grandiose Person Is Never Really Free;

The Achievement Of Freedom Is Hardly Possible Without The Felt Mourning. This Ability To Mourn, I.e, To Give Up The Illusion Of A Happy Childhood, Can Restore Vitality And Creativity If A Person Is Able To Experience That He Was Never Loved As A Child For What He Was, But For His Achievements, Success And Good Qualities. And That He Sacrificed His Childhood For This Love, This Will Shake Him Very Deeply.

Contempt Is The Weapon Of The Weak And A Defense Against One's Own Despised And Unwanted Feelings.

Quite Often I Have Been Faced With People Who Were Praised And Admired For Their Talents And Their Achievements... According To Prevailing Attitudes, These People-the Pride And Joy Of Their Parents-should Have Had A Strong And Stable Sense Of Self-assurance. But The Case Is Exactly The Opposite... Whenever They Suddenly Get The Feeling They Have Failed To Live Up To Some Ideal Image Or Have Not Measured Up To Some Standard, Then They Are Plagued By Anxiety Or Deep Feelings Of Guilt And Shame. What Are The Reasons For Such Disturbances In These Competent, Accomplished People?

The Truth About Childhood, As Many Of Us Have Had To Endure It, Is Inconceivable, Scandalous, Painful. Not Uncommonly, It Is Monstrous. Invariably, It Is Repressed. To Be Confronted With This Truth All At Once And To Try To Integrate It Into Our Consciousness, However Ardently We May Wish It, Is Clearly Impossible.

The Knowledge That You Were Beaten And That This, As Your Parents Tell You, Was For Your Own Good May Well Be Retained (although Not Always), But The Suffering Caused By The Way You Were Mistreated Will Remain Unconscious And Will Later Prevent You From Empathizing With Others. This Is Why Battered Children Grow Up To Be Mothers And Fathers Who Beat Their Offspring