The Good News Is, President Obama Was

What's Going On With The Oakland Raiders? You Know, I Don't Want To Say The Raiders Are Bad, But You Know, Now, A Lot Of Fans Are Painting Their Faces Just So They Won't Be Recognized.

President Obama Flew To A Rally In Las Vegas Last Night. However, He Did Not Visit Any Of The Casinos. You Know Why? When You're $16 Trillion In Debt, They Don't Let You In.

Attorney General John Ashcroft Said There Is A New Credible Terrorist Threat. He Said Everything Is Under Control; Not To Panic. And Then He Went Back To His Harmonically Sealed Bunker.

American Taliban John Walker Lindh Has Pleaded Guilty To Two Counts Of Terrorism And Will Face Twenty Years In Prison. I Guess That Means His Jihad Is On Ji-hold.

President Bush Admitted That The United States Went To War In Iraq Based On Bad Intelligence. But He Says Knowing What We Know Now He Would Still Do It Again. So At Least We're Learning From Our Mistakes.