The Federal Government Is Starting To Plan

An Internet Rumor Claims That John Kerry Had An Affair With A Young Woman. When Asked If This Was Similar To The Clinton-lewinsky Scandal, A Spokesman Said 'close, But No Cigar.'

People Are Being Really Picky About The Upcoming Election. I Read That Americans Do Not Want The Next President To Be A First-term Senator, Be Over 65, Or Have A Former President In The Family. Then The Secret Service Said, 'hey, Whoever Slips Through Slips Through. No Promises.'

In A Recent Interview, John Mccain Addressed Trump's Campaign Rally In Arizona And Said That He Just Quote, 'fired Up The Crazies.' Not To Be Confused With Trump's Show 'celebrity Apprentice,' Where He Just Fired The Crazies.

Got Bin Laden And Interrupted Celebrity Apprentice? Win For Obama All Around.

Bp Wants Twitter To Shut Down A Fake Bp Account That Is Mocking The Oil Company. In Response, Twitter Wants Bp To Shut Down The Oil Leak That's Ruining The Ocean.