The Curtain Rises On A Vast Primitive

See, I Never Gain An Ounce, Because, You Know, My Anxiety Acts Like Aerobics.

Don't You See The Rest Of The Country Looks Upon New York Like We're Left-wing, Communist, Jewish, Homosexual Pornographers? I Think Of Us That Way Sometimes And I Live Here.

There Are Three Rings Involved With Marriage. The Engagement Ring, The Wedding Ring, And The Suffering.

To Me There’s No Real Difference Between A Fortune Teller Or A Fortune Cookie And Any Of The Organized Religions. They’re All Equally Valid Or Invalid, Really. And Equally Helpful.

My Wife Is Immature. Whenever I Take A Bath, She Sinks My Boats.