The Best Any Human Can Do Is

Your Business Clothes Are Naturally Attracted To Staining Liquids. This Attraction Is Strongest Just Before An Important Meeting.

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.

There’s Nothing More Humbling Than Seeing Your Best Quotes In A List, And Thinking They Could Have Been Written By A Coma Patient With A Keyboard And Spasms.

Great Minds Don't Think Alike. If They Did, The Patent Office Would Only Have About Fifty Inventions.

Normal People... Believe That If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It. Engineers Believe That If It Ain't Broke, It Doesn't Have Enough Features Yet.