The Average Person Expels Flatulence 15 Times

I Just Started Calling Myself 'swamp A-.' Like, I Have Swamp A- Right Now. I Had Major Swamp A- Because I Was Wearing These Spanx To Hold In My Gut ... It's Like The Bayou Up In That Region.

There Are Moments When I Would Love To Fall Asleep With My Head On Somebody's Shoulder, Just Because I Was So Used To That For So Long.

I Used To Be The Kind Of Person Who Needed To Have A Lot Of People Around. That's Where I Found My Serenity. I Needed To Have Everyone Around So I Could Have My Hands And My Mind In Different Places Because That's What Would Calm Me Down. But Now, I Just Want To Be By Myself. It's A Good But Scary Place To Be.

At School My Boobs Were Bigger Than All My Friends' And I Was Afraid To Show Them. Now, I Feel They Make My Outfits Look Better. They're Like An Accessory.

The Crazy Thing Is, I Never Knew That A Wiener Could Actually Make Me Nauseous.