The Audience Is Never Wrong.

Giving Birth Is Like Taking Your Lower Lip And Forcing It Over Your Head.

No One Ever Said Life Was Fair. Just Eventful.

I Wish My Mother Had Left Me Something About How She Felt Growing Up. I Wish My Grandmother Had Done The Same. I Wanted My Girls To Know Me.

The Audience Is Never Wrong.

People Invite Me To Dinner Not Because I Can Cook, But Because I Like To Clean Up. I Get Immediate Gratification From Windex. Yes, I Do Windows.