Technology Will Definitely Solve All Our Problems,

Dilbert: It Took Weeks But I've Calculated A New Theory About The Origin Of The Universe. According To My Calculations It Didn't Start With A "big Bang" At All-it Was More Of "phhbwt" Sound. You May Be Wondering About The Practical Applications Of The "little Phhbwt" Theory. Dogbert: I Was Wondering When You'll Go Away.

Am I Getting Smart With You? How Would You Know?

Obviously There's Not Much Options When You're A Cartoonist - You Pretty Much Either Work At Home Or Rent An Office I Guess, And Working At Home Just Seems Easier.

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.

God Designs People's Emotions So You Fall In Love With People Who, In Return, Wouldn't Even Use Your Hollowed-out Skull For A Spittoon.