Support Your Right To Arm Bears.

People Ask Me What Makes A Good Funeral, And I Tell Them The Most Important Thing Is Your Man In The Casket. If You Have A Man Of Substance In There, You Have The Makings Of A First-class Funeral.

I Consider The 3 Most Cruelly Produced Foods To Be From Lobsters, Dropped Alive Into Boiling Water, Veal From Calves Separated From Their Mothers And Kept In Crates, And Pate De Foie Gras.

I Told The Good Father That If He And I Were Going In The Future To Some Wonderful Elysian Field And The Animals Were Not Going To Go Anywhere, That Was All The More Reason To Give Them A Little Better Shake In The One Life They Did Have.

Opera Is Like A Husband With A Foreign Title: Expensive To Support, Hard To Understand, And Therefore A Supreme Social Challenge.

As Far As I'm Concerned, The Only Difference Between The Republicans And The Democrats Is The Republicans Are Socialists And The Democrats Are Bolsheviks.