Story, N. A Narrative, Commonly Untrue.

Scarabaeus, N. The Sacred Beetle Of The Ancient Egyptians, Allied To Our Familiar "tumble-bug." It Was Supposed To Symbolize Immortality, The Fact That God Knew Why Giving It Its Peculiar Sanctity. Its Habit Of Incubating Its Eggs In A Ball Of Ordure May Also Have Commended It To The Favor Of The Priesthood, And May Some Day Assure It An Equal Reverence Among Ourselves. True, The American Beetle Is An Inferior Beetle, But The American Priest Is An Inferior Priest.

Retribution, N. A Rain Of Fire-and-brimstone That Falls Alike Upon The Just And Such Of The Unjust As Have Not Procured Shelter By Evicting Them.

Lecturer, N. One With His Hand In Your Pocket, His Tongue In Your Ear And His Faith In Your Patience.

Elegy, N. A Composition In Verse, In Which, Without Employing Any Of The Methods Of Humor, The Writer Aims To Produce In The Reader's Mind The Dampest Kind Of Dejection.

The Place Whereon The Priest Formerly Raveled Out The Small Intestine Of The Sacrificial Victim For Purposes Of Divination And Cooked Its Flesh For The Gods. The Word Is Now Seldom Used, Except With Reference To The Sacrifice Of Their Liberty And Peace By A Male And A Female Fool.