Status Is Always Ripe For Satire, Status

Here's How It Works: The President Makes Decisions. He's The Decider. The Press Secretary Announces Those Decisions, And You People Of The Press Type Those Decisions Down. Make, Announce, Type. Just Put 'em Through A Spell Check And Go Home. The Greatest Thing About This Man Is He's Steady. You Know Where He Stands. He Believes The Same Thing Wednesday That He Believed On Monday, No Matter What Happened Tuesday. Events Can Change; This Man's Beliefs Never Will.

Give A Man A Suicide Bomb, He Blows Up Once. Teach A Man To Suicide Bomb, He Also Blows Up Once.

Christianity Is The Best Way To Cure Gayness — Just Get On Your Knees, Take A Swig Of Wine, And Accept The Body Of A Man Into Your Mouth.

I Imagined Myself Living In New York In Some Sort Of Open, Large But Sparse Studio Apartment With A Lot Of Blond Wood And A Futon On The Floor And A Bubbling Samovar Of Tea In The Background And A Big Beard - Living Alone But With My Beard - And Doing Theater. That's What I Thought My Life Would Be.

But You Are Also The Biggest Threat Of All ...you Are A Gay Person I Like. Your Threat Is That You Make Being Gay Seem Non-threatening. It's Almost As If Your Happiness Does Not Take Mine Away.