Sometimes Something Worth Doing Is Worth Overdoing.

My Good Friend Paul Shaffer And I Are Going To Continue In Show Business. Next Month Paul And I Will Debut Our New Act At Caesar's Palace With Our White Tigers.

The Weather Here Is Gorgeous. It's Mild And Feels Like It's In The Eighties. The Hot Dog Vendors Got Confused Because Of The Weather And Thought It Was Spring, So They Accidentally Changed The Hot Dog Water In Their Carts.

They Found A Scrapbook With Photos Of Osama Bin Laden From The '90s, And They're Studying Each And Every Photo Very, Very Closely. My Favorite Shot Of Osama Bin Laden Was Right Between The Eyes.

Al Gore Has Endorsed Howard Dean For President. That's Pretty Fitting, The Guy That Didn't Beat Bush Endorsing The Guy Who Won't Beat Bush.

Everybody Is Wondering What Paris Hilton Will Be Doing Next, And Hell, I'm Wondering What She Did Before.