Sometimes I Wish I Had A Terrible

Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny. They Really Know How To Land One.

Today Carly Fiorina Announced That She Is Running For President. Someone Else Bought 'carlyfiorina.org' And Posted 30,000 Sad Emoticons To Represent All The People She Laid Off At Hewlett-packard. I Haven't Seen That Many Sad, Blank Faces In One Place Since The Mayweather-pacquiao Fight.

Anything I Learned Was Just Work Hard, Just Keep Working And Don't Worry About The Outside Stuff. Whatever Happens Will Happen.

[writing A Joke] There Is No Team Of Writers. It's Just You In An Office, Staring At Yourself In The Mirror.

President Obama Awarded A National Medal Of Arts To Author Stephen King. You Know, Because If There's Anyone Who Can Relate To The Story Of A Guy Trapped In A Mansion That's Driving Him Insane, It's Obama.