Somehow, Like So Many People Who Get

Suicide Note: The Calm, Cool Face Of The River Asked Me For A Kiss. -langston Hughes

There Is A Particular Kind Of Pain, Elation, Loneliness, And Terror Involved In This Kind Of Madness. When You're High It's Tremendous. The Ideas And Feelings Are Fast And Frequent Like Shooting Stars....but, Somewhere, This Changes. The Fast Ideas Are Far Too Fast, And There Are Far Too Many; Overwhelming Confusion Replaces Clarity. Everything Previously Moving With The Grain Is Now Against-you Are Irritable, Angry, Frightened, Uncontrollable....it Will Never End, For Madness Carves Its Own Reality.

I Don't Think Grief Of Grief In A Medical Way At All. I Think That I And Many Of My Colleagues, Are Very Concerned When Grief Becomes Pathological, That There Is No Question That Grief Can Trigger Depression In Vulnerable People And There Is No Question That Depression Can Make Grief Worse.

Moods Are Such An Essential Part Of The Substance Of Life, Of One's Notion Of Oneself, That Even Psychotic Extremes In Mood And Behavior Somehow Can Be Seen As Temporary, Even Understandable, Reactions To What Life Has Dealt.

I Have Often Asked Myself Whether, Given The Choice, I Would Choose To Have Manic-depressive Illness. If Lithium Were Not Available To Me, Or Didn't Work For Me, The Answer Would Be A Simple No... And It Would Be An Answer Laced With Terror. But Lithium Does Work For Me, And Therefore I Can Afford To Pose The Question. Strangely Enough, I Think I Would Choose To Have It. It's Complicated.