Soft Drinks: The Gooey, Bubbly Sea Drowning

A New Kind Of Award Has Been Added -- The Deathbed Award. It Is Not An Award Of Any Kind. Either The Recipient Has Not Acted At All, Or Was Not Nominated, Or Did Not Win The Award The Last Few Times Around. It Is Intended To Relieve The Guilty Conscience Of The Academy Members And Save Face In Front Of The Public. The Academy Has The Horrible Taste To Have A Star, Choking With Emotion, Present This Deathbed Award So That There Can Be No Doubt In Anybody's Mind Why The Award Is So Hurriedly Given. Lucky Is The Actor Who Is Too Sick To Watch The Proceedings On Television.

A King, Realizing His Incompetence, Can Either Delegate Or Abdicate His Duties. A Father Can Do Neither. If Only Sons Could See The Paradox, They Would Understand The Dilemma.

I Was Raised Almost Entirely On Turnips And Potatoes, But I Think That The Turnips Had More To Do With The Effect Than The Potatoes.

It Is My Private Life Which No One Knows Anything About, Nor Ever Will. It Needs More Than Half My Time If It Is To Be A Success.

The Air And The Sky Seem To Have Been Freshly Washed And Polished, And The People Too.