So There He Is At Last. Man

An Educated Person Is One Who Has Learned That Information Almost Always Turns Out To Be At Best Incomplete And Very Often False, Misleading, Fictitious, Mendacious - Just Dead Wrong.

The Government Cannot Afford To Have A Country Made Up Entirely Of Rich People, Because Rich People Pay So Little Tax That The Government Would Quickly Go Bankrupt. This Is Why Government Men Always Tell Us That Labor Is Man's Noblest Calling. Government Needs Labor To Pay Its Upkeep.

Though Americans Talk A Good Deal About The Virtue Of Being Serious, They Generally Prefer People Who Are Solemn Over People Who Are Serious. In Politics, The Rare Candidate Who Is Serious, Like Adlai Stevenson, Is Easily Overwhelmed By One Who Is Solemn, Like General Eisenhower. This Is Probably Because It Is Hard For Most People To Recognize Seriousness, Which Is Rare, Especially In Politics, But Comfortable To Endorse Solemnity, Which Is As Commonplace As Jogging.

It Is Safest To Shut Up And Pay, Which Is What I Shall Eventually Do, Though I Shall Hate Having To Sell The Children.

Windows 95 Is What Rube Goldberg Would Have Designed If He'd Studied Cartooning At M.i.t.