...she Is Too Beautiful, I Think, To

Don't Drive Drunk. Ever. Don't Shag Anyone You Don't Like, Or Who Doesn't Like You. Get A Look At How People Live In A Place Where You Don't. Suffering Is Over-rated, Don't Pursue It. Ask For Help When You Need It, Don't When You Don't, And Learn To Recognize The Difference. Don't Confuse Movement And Progress. Be Kind. Be Forgiving. Pay Attention.

It's Very Difficult To Stay Angry When A Room Full Of Bald Guys In Orange Robes Start Giggling. Buddhism.

Winter Near The Shore Is Cold. The Wind Kicks Up A Salty Mist And Elephant Seals Come To Shore To Trumpet And Rut And Birth Their Pups. Retired People Put Sweaters On Their Lap Dogs And Drag Them Down The Street On Retractable Leashes In A Nightly Parade Of Doggy Humiliation. Surfers Don Their Wetsuits Against The Chill Of Storm Waves And White Sharks Adjust Their Diets To Include Shrink-wrapped Dude-snacks On Fiberglass Crackers.

Well They're Pissed Off And They're Hungry. I Was Kind Of Busy Trying Not To Get My Brains Eaten. They Seemed Pretty Adamant About The Brain-eating Thing. Then They're Going To Ikea, I Guess

Theophilus Crowe's Mobile Phone Played Eight Bars Of "tangled Up In Blue" In An Irritating Electronic Voice That Sounded Like A Choir Of Suffering Houseflies, Or Jiminy Cricket Huffing Helium, Or, Well, You Know, Bob Dylan.