Self Control Is About Being In Charge

Forgiving Is Love's Toughest Work, And Love's Biggest Risk. If You Twist It Into Something It Was Never Meant To Be, It Can Make You A Doormat Or An Insufferable Manipulator. Forgiving Seems Almost Unnatural. Our Sense Of Fairness Tells Us People Should Pay For The Wrong They Do. But Forgiving Is Love's Power To Break Nature's Rule.

If We Say That Monsters [people Who Do Terrible Evil] Are Beyond Forgiving, We Give Them A Power They Should Never Have...they Are Given The Power To Keep Their Evil Alive In The Hearts Of Those Who Suffered Most. We Give Them Power To Condemn Their Victims To Live Forever With The Hurting Memory Of Their Painful Pasts. We Give The Monsters The Last Word.

The Problem With Revenge Is That It Never Gets What It Wants; It Never Evens The Score. Fairness Never Comes. The Chain Reaction Set Off By Every Act Of Vengeance Always Takes Its Unhindered Course. It Ties Both The Injured And The Injurer To An Escalator Of Pain...why Do Family Feuds Go On And On?...the Reason Is Simple: No Two People, No Two Families, Ever Weigh Pain On The Same Scale.

Their Pain [the Injurer's Pain At Having Injured You] And Your Pain Create The Point And Counterpoint For The Rhythm Of Reconciliation. When The Beat Of Their Pain Is A Response To The Beat Of Yours, They Have Become Truthful In Their Feelings...they Have Moved A Step Closer To A Truthful Reunion.

The Rule Is: We Cannot Really Forgive Ourselves Unless We Look At The Failure In Our Past And Call It By Its Right Name.