Satire That The Censor Understands Is Rightly

Feminine Passion Is To Masculine As An Epic Is To An Epigram.

Cosmetics Is The Science Of A Woman's Cosmos.

I Don't Like To Meddle In My Private Affairs.

Newspapers Have Roughly The Same Relationship To Life As Fortune-tellers To Metaphysics.

Progress Celebrates Victories Over Nature. Progress Makes Purses Out Of Human Skin. When People Were Traveling In Mail Coaches, The World Got Ahead Better Than It Does Now That Salesmen Fly Through The Air. What Good Is Speed If The Brain Has Oozed Out On The Way? How Will The Heirs Of This Age Be Taught The Most Basic Motions That Are Necessary To Activate The Most Complicated Machines? Nature Can Rely On Progress; It Will Avenge It For The Outrage It Has Perpetrated On It.