Sarcasm Is When You Tell Someone The

If Someone Breaks Your Heart, Just Punch Them In The Face. Oh Sure, It Seems Obvious Now, But You'd Be Amazed At How Many People Don't Think Of It When It's Relevant. Seriously, Punch Them In The Face And Go Get Some Ice Cream.

And All I Could Do While I Listened To This Dude Tell Me How Punk Rock Saved His Life Was Think, Wow. Why Did My Friend Waste All That Time Going To Chemotherapy? I Guess We Should Have Just Played Him A Bunch Of Shitty Black Flag Records.

I Guess It Really Didn't Even Dawn On Me That You Could Be A Rock Critic As A Job Until I Was Maybe Almost Out Of College. I Knew Criticism Existed. I Read Rolling Stone And Spin. Siskel And Ebert Were On Television. But I Had Absolutely No Idea How To Get That Kind Of Life. And Moreover, It Didn't Interest Me That Much. I Just Sort Of Read Normal Books Growing Up. I Wasn't That Media-conscious. I Felt Like The One Thing I Was Able To Do Was To Listen To A Record And Decide Whether I Liked It.

The Things He Did On Purpose Were Usually No Different From The Mistakes He Made By Accident.

I Doubt That Pornography Has Been Good For The Advancement Of Society, But I Suspect It’s Done Wonders For The Advancement Of Computer Technology.