Requests Give Direction To Love, But Demands

Encouragement Requires Empathy And Seeing The World From Your Spouse's Perspective. We Must First Learn What Is Important To Our Spouse. Only Then Can We Give Encouragement. With Verbal Encouragement, We Are Trying To Communicate, "i Know. I Care. I Am With You. How Can I Help?" We Are Trying To Show That We Believe In Him And In His Abilities. We Are Giving Credit And Praise.

The In-love Experience Does Not Focus On Our Own Growth Or On The Growth And Development Of The Other Person. Rather, It Gives Us The Sense That We Have Arrived And That We Do Not Need Further Growth.

The Pattern Often Has Been Entrenched Since Childhood... [abusive People] Don't Think That There Is Anything Wrong With Them Because That Is The Way They Were Brought Up In Their Family.

Very Few Alcoholics Get Into A Treatment Program Until They Are At The End Of The Rope, Often When They Feel Like They Are About To Lose Something That Is Important To Them, Namely A Wife Or Their Family. The Same Is True With Those Who Are Physically And Verbally Abusive.

Emotions Are Our Spontaneous Response To Life. We Have These Emotions, But If The Emotion Is A Negative Emotion, Then I Have A Choice To Say, "i Am Feeling Sad Tonight Because This Happened, But I Am Not Going To Let My Sadness Keep Me From Engaging My Wife In Conversation. "