Reason, N. Propensitate Of Prejudice.

Miss, N. A Title With Which We Brand Unmarried Women To Indicate They Are In The Market. Miss, Misses (mrs.) And Mister (mr.) Are The Three Most Distinctly Disagreeable Words In The Language, In Sound And Sense. Two Are Corruptions Of Mistress, The Other Of Master. In The General Abolition Of Social Titles In This Our Country They Miraculously Escaped To Plague Us. If We Must Have Them Let Us Be Consistent And Give One To The Unmarried Man. I Venture To Suggest Mush, Abbreviated To Mh.

Trichinosis, N. The Pig's Reply To Proponents Of Porcophagy.

Deinotherium, N. An Extinct Pachyderm That Flourished When The Pterodactyl Was In Fashion. The Latter Was A Native Of Ireland, Its Name Being Pronounced Terry Dactyl Or Peter O'dactyl, As The Man Pronouncing It May Chance To Have Heard It Spoken Or Seen It Printed.

Rome Has Seven Sacraments, But The Protestant Churches, Being Less Prosperous, Feel That They Can Afford Only Two, And These Of Inferior Sanctity.

Politician, N. An Eel In The Fundamental Mud Upon Which The Superstructure Of Organized Society Is Reared. When He Wriggles, He Mistakes The Agitation Of His Tail For The Trembling Of The Edifice.