Reality, While Generally Probable, Is Not Always

I Think For The Foreseeable Future, The Truth Is Going To Be Awful And Funny All At The Same Time.

My Biggest Superhero Of Writing Is Jorge Luis Borges, The Argentine Fabulist. He's An Amazingly Perceptive Writer, But Also Willing To Make A Joke.

My Career As A Magazine Writer Was Largely Prefaced On The Idea Of Curiosity, To Go On Adventures And Weasel My Way Into The Lives Of People That I Admire.

I Never Stopped Feeling Abject Terror Until I Got On Television And Went On A National Ad Campaign And Realized, "i Will Be Able To Feed My Children. I Have Somehow Averted The Destiny That Awaited Me, Which Is Endless, Crippling Debt Forever."

Unfortunately For Humanity, I've Gotten Into The Habit Of Providing My Own Closing Music For Shows By Singing A Song And Playing The Ukulele.