Reading Is Untidy, Discursive And Perpetually Inviting.

You Always Know When You're Going To Arrive. If You Go By Car, You Don't. Apart From Anything Else, I Prefer Cycling. It Puts You In A Good Mood, I Find.

I Saw Someone Peeing In Jermym Street The Other Day. I Thought, Is This The End Of Civilization As We Know It? Or Is It Simply Someone Peeing In Jermyn Street?

God Doesn't Do Notes, Either. Did Jesus Christ Say, "can I Be Excused The Crucifixion?" No!

Children Always Assume The Sexual Lives Of Their Parents Come To A Grinding Halt At Their Conception.

Deluded Liberal That I Am, I Persist In Thinking That Those With A Streak Of Sexual Unorthodoxy Ought To Be More Tolerant Of Their Fellows Than Those Who Lead An Entirely Godly, Righteous And Sober Life. Illogically, I Tend To Assume That If You ( Philip Larkin) Dream Of Caning Schoolgirls Bottoms, It Disqualifies You From Dismissing Half The Nation As Work-shy.