Put. That Coffee. Down. Coffee's For Closers

Here Is A Sovereign Talisman Against Regret: Never Do That Which Might Engender It.

Here's What Happens In A Play. You Get Involved In A Situation Where Something Is Unbalanced. If Nothing's Unbalanced, There's No Reason To Have A Play. If Hamlet Comes Home From School, And His Dad's Not Dead And Asks Him If He's Had A Good Time, It's Boring. But If Something's Unbalanced, It Must Be Returned To Order.

I Don't Think There's Any Information To Be Gotten From Television.

My Dad Was An Immigrant Kid And A Democrat And A Jew, And We Didn't Know Any Republicans In Our Group. So I Grew Up Democratic. My Dad Was A Labor Lawyer - A Very Hardworking Guy, A One-horse Labor Lawyer - And Then I Went To Hippie College And Lived In The Bubble.

I'm Not The Guy To Ask About Politics. I'm A Gag Writer.