Procrastinate Now, Don't Put It Off.

I Think Beauty Comes From Actually Knowing Who You Are. That's Real Beauty To Me.

If You Want To Get Rid Of Stuff, You Can Always Do A Good Spring-cleaning. Or You Can Do What I Do. Move.

People Give Me Such A Hard Time Because I Don't Wear Dresses. What's That Got To Do With Anything?

I Was Doing Stand-up At A Restaurant And There Was A Chalkboard On The Street Out Front. It Said, Soup Of The Day: Cream Of Asparagus. Ellen Degeneres.

Have You Ever Thought About Toothpaste? Ellen Has! And She Makes A Point About All Of The Types Of Toothpaste That Colgate Offers!