Pittsburgh Is Kind Of Like Newark Without

When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

I Know A Guy Who Gave Up Smoking Cigarettes, Consuming, Sex, And Wealthy Meals.

Money Gives Me Just One Big Thing That's Really Important, And That's The Freedom Of Not Having To Worry About Money.

I Can't Go Anywhere Without Being Bugged By Somebody. I'd Love To Just Hike Out Down The Street, Or Drop In A Restaurant, Or Wander In The Park, Or Take My Kids Somewhere Without Collecting A Trail Of People. But I Can't.

Happiness Is Discovering The Prune Juice Your Doctor Ordered You To Drink Has Fermented.