Oops! I Always Thought Peta Stood For

Life Is Chaotic And Unpredictable. If A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In One Part Of The World, It Could Cause People At The Opposite End Of The Globe To Watch A Discovery Channel Special On Butterflies

I'm Proud Of My Ability To Understand What Somebody Else Is Trying To Do And Help Them Achieve It, Because Part Of The Aesthetic Of Improvisation Is Service. We Don't Lead, We Only Follow. You Never Say No. Serve The Servant, Follow The Follower. And That's Very Valuable In Your Life, As Well As Very Valuable In Your Work.

Internet Users, That Blue Screen Of Death You Were Looking At This Morning? That's The Sky. If You're Still Confused, Look It Up On Wikipedia Tomorrow.

My Grandfather Did Not Travel Across 4,000 Miles Of The Atlantic Ocean To See This Country Overrun By Immigrants. He Did It Because He Killed A Man Back In Ireland.

It's Official. Highway Patrolmen Are Not Susceptible To The Jedi Mind Trick.