People Who Say You're Just As Old

A Group Of Politicians Deciding To Dump A President Because His Morals Are Bad Is Like The Mafia Getting Together To Bump Off The Godfather For Not Going To Church On Sunday.

Of All The People Expressing Their Mental Vacuity, None Has A Better Excuse For An Empty Head Than The Newspaperman: If He Pauses To Restock His Brain, He Invites Onrushing Deadlines To Trample Him Flat. Broadcasting The Contents Of Empty Minds Is What Most Of Us Do Most Of The Time, And Nobody More Relentlessly Than I.

Inanimate Objects Can Be Classified Scientifically Into Three Major Categories: Those That Don't Work, Those That Break Down And Those That Get Lost. The Goal Of All Inanimate Objects Is To Resist Man And Ultimately To Defeat Him, And The Three Major Classifications Are Based On The Method Each Object Uses To Achieve Its Purpose. As A General Rule, Any Object Capable Of Breaking Down At The Moment When It Is Most Needed Will Do So.

Reality Is The Only Obstacle To Happiness.

Live By Publicity, You'll Probably Die By Publicity.