People Like What They Like. They're Gonna

I Have No Skills. I Mean, I Can Make Jokes, I'm Pretty Good At Talking To People On The Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I Can Figure Out What Makes A Pretty Good Story, And I Can Make Eggs Really Well.

Any Time You Try To Create An Internet Meme, Automatic Fail. That's Like The Worst Thing You Can Do.

I've Made My Evolutionary Purpose And Had Children. I Don't Care If Anybody Likes Me, I'm Going To Do What I Want To Do. I'm Going To Do A Whole Comedy Show About Swimming In The Loathsomely Cold Waters Of Maine.

Writing For Me Always Requires Trickery. Tricking Myself Into Sitting Down, Letting Words Tumble Out Until You Find The Good Ones. It's Sort Of A Trance. And When A Piece Is Done, I Have Little Memory Of How I Wrote It, And Zero Confidence I'd Ever Be Able To Do It Again.

Generally Speaking, I Think It Is Fair To Say That I Am A Friend To The Creatures Of The Earth When I Am Not Busy Eating Them Or Wearing Them.