Old Is Always Fifteen Years From Now.

Even Though Your Kids Will Consistently Do The Exact Opposite Of What You're Telling Them To Do, You Have To Keep Loving Them Just As Much.

Fathers Are The Geniuses Of The House Because Only A Person As Intelligent As We Could Fake Such Stupidity.

You People Are Not Prepared. You Are Well Educated And You Look Cute, But That's Not Going To Cut It.

One Of The Great Mistakes That Can Be Made By A Man Of My Age Is To Get Involved In Athletic Competition With Children-unless, Of Course, They Are Under Six. And Even Then, Stay Away From Hide-and-seek.

The Weatherman Is Always Right. It's Just His Timing That's Off.