Obey, Obey, Obey, Then Do What You

All These Types Of Love Come Out Of Duty, Respect, And Gratitude. Most Of Them, As The Women In My County Know, Are Sources Of Sadness, Rupture, And Brutality.

When I Knew I Couldn't Suffer Another Moment Of Pain, And Tears Fell On My Bloody Bindings, My Mother Spoke Softly Into My Ear, Encouraging Me To Go One More Hour, One More Day, One More Week, Reminding Me Of The Rewards I Would Have If I Carried On A Little Longer. In This Way, She Taught Me How To Endure — Not Just The Physical Trials Of Footbinding And Childbearing But The More Torturous Pain Of The Heart, Mind, And Soul.

What Stays With Me Most Is A General Sense Of Loss, Unease, And Longing For The Past That Cannot Be Relieved.

People Say You Need To Be Strong, Smart, And Lucky To Survive Hard Times, War, A Natural Disaster, Or Physical Torture. But I Say Emotional Abuse—anxiety, Fear, Guilt, And Degradation—is Far Worse And Much Harder To Survive.

We're Told That Men Are Strong & Brave, But I Think Women Know How To Endure, Accept Defeat & Bear Physical & Mental Agony Much Better Than Men.