Now Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love

I Can't Believe We Got Grades In Gym Class. I've Never Used Anything I Learned In There. "all Right, I'm Standing In Front Of A Room Full Of Strangers. Based On What I Learned In Gym Class, I Will Throw A Red Ball At A Fat Guy."

I'm Not Saying That Mcdonald's Gift Certificates Caused The Obesity Epidemic, But In Retrospect, The Timing Is Kind Of Suspicious.

There's This Message To Comedians In Particular, That You Shouldn't Write It, And A Television Writer Should Write It. And That's A Prevailing Conventional Wisdom That I Think Is Really Wrong. That's Not To Say That Television Writers Aren't Great, But I Think That The Belief That Some Comedy Writer's Going To Be Able To Capture Your Voice Is Naive.

I Would Say Some Of The Food I Talk About That I Really Enjoy, Like Cake And Bacon, I Eat A Lot Less Than I Portray In My Act. But That Stuff That I Dislike, It's Pretty Sincere.

People Get Burned Out In Big Families, You Can Even See It In The Naming Of Children. Like The First Kid, "you Were Named After Grandma." The Seventh Kid, "you Were Named After A Sandwich I Had. Now Get Your Brother, Reuben."