Nothing Is More American Than Stuffing Your

My Negotiation Skills Are Are On Par With George Bush's Reading Ability. And Just Like Dubya, Every Time I've Tried To Put Forth An Effort, I Am Reminded That My Only True Strength Lies In Drinking.

I Couldn't Go Any Higher With Three Michelin Stars. I Mastered My Craft. I'm Still Learning And Picking Up Ideas.

According To Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent May Be Working On Lindsay Lohan's Next Album. Finally, A Match Made In Rap Heaven. He's A Convicted Drug Dealer Who's Been Shot Nine Times, And She Spent 84 Minutes In Prison. This Is A Big Step For Lindsay. The Last Time Lindsay Got Near A Black Guy She Ran Over His Foot.

Shamu And I Have Arrived Safely In Costa Rica. He Was Stopped By Airport Security Because He Carries Enough Artillery In His Pants Pockets To Construct A Sawed-off Shotgun. Evidently, He Though We Were Headed To Iraq.

A Lot Of People Think That Keying A Car Isn't The Right Way To Get Back At A Guy. I Disagree.