Labour Day Is A Great American Holiday

We Make A Lot Of Fun At President Clinton's Expense. But This Transition Is Going To Be Tough Because It's Been 25 Years Since This Guy Has Gotten Laid In The Private Sector.

Scientists Have Proven Beyond A Shadow Of A Doubt That There Is Life After Death -- Though They Say It's Virtually Impossible To Get Decent Chinese Food.

Halloween Is The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season. That's For Women. The Beginning Of The Holiday Shopping Season For Men Is Christmas Eve.

There Was A Flight From Cleveland To New York City With Just Two People On Board. There Hasn't Been Two People On An Airplane Since The Wright Brothers.

Airport Screeners Are Now Scanning Holiday Fruitcakes. Not Even The Scanners Can Tell What Those Little Red Things Are.