No One Could Be Still Like Edward.

Now And Then I See Something In Her Eyes, And I Wonder If I’ve Ever Grasped How Much Pain She’s Really In.

And It Was Different Because I'd Already Lost Her So Many Times, So Many Ways, In My Head. And Different Because She Was Never Really Mine To Lose. And Different Because This Wasn't My Fault.

Thank You, Wanda. My Sister. I Will Never Forget You. Be Happy, Mel. Enjoy It All. Appreciate It For Me.

Our Relationship Couldn't Continue To Balance, As It Did, On The Point Of A Knife. We Would Fall Off One Edge Or The Other, Depending Entirely Upon His Decision, Or His Instincts. My Decision Was Made, Made Before I'd Ever Consciously Chosen, And I Was Committed To Seeing It Through. Because There Was Nothing More Terrifying To Me, More Excruciating, Than The Thought Of Turning Away From Him. It Was An Impossibility.

It Was Sort Of The Pattern To My Life - I'd Never Been Strong Enough To Deal With The Things Outside My Control, To Attack The Enemies Or Outrun Them. To Avoid The Pain. Always Human And Weak, The Only Thing I'd Ever Been Able To Do Was Keep Going. Endure. Survive.