Never Yawn In Front Of A Lady.

Don’t Hide Your Scars. They Make You Who You Are

I Like Intelligent Women. When You Go Out, It Shouldn't Be A Staring Contest.

[dean Martin] Is An Absolute, Unqualified Drunk. And If We Ever Develop An Olympic Drinking Team, He's Gonna Be The Coach... Dean Martin Has Been Stoned More Often Than The United States Embassies.

(while Accepting The Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award) I've Been Thinking About Why You Have To Get Famous To Get An Award For Helping Other People...if Your Name Is John Doe, And You Work Night And Day Doing Things For Your Helpless Neighbors, What You Get For Your Effort Is Tired. So, Mr. And Mrs. Doe, And All Of You Who Give Of Yourselves, To Those Who Carry Too Big A Burden To Make It On Their Own, I Want You To Reach Out And Take Your Share Of This...because If I Have Earned It, So Too Have You.

When Lip Service To Some Mysterious Deity Permits Bestiality On Wednesday And Absolution On Sunday, Cash Me Out.