My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As

My Whole Comic Persona Is That Of A Guy Who Explores The Id: I Romanticize Gluttony, I Romanticize Laziness, And People Identify With That.

One Thing I'm Afraid Of Is Not Taking Advantage Of Opportunities. I Feel Like These Are Kind Of Gifts.

I Was Watching Animal Planet. Did You Know That The Male Seahorse Has The Baby? And I Was Thinking, "why Don't They Just Call That The Female Seahorse?" You Know It's Just Some Stubborn Scientist. "yeah, That One There's The Male Seahorse." And His Assistant's Like, "uh, Bill, That One's Having A Baby." ... "the Male Has The Baby. You're Fired."

I Need The Concept Of Mercy For Me To Have Some Semblance Of Self-admiration. So In Real Life, I'm Probably Somebody Who Is More Devout.

I'd Have To Say Sunset Salsa. Nothing Against Honey Lime, But It's For Losers.