My Wife's Gotten Really Lazy, Or As

I Try To Only Eat Animals That Are Vegan. I'm Probably The Opposite Of A Vegan.

As I Go On In Standup, I Keep Being Described As Cleaner And Cleaner As I Do Each Hour, They're Like, 'it's Unbelievable How Clean,' 'he's The Cleanest Person In The World.' And Then I'll Do Shows And People Will Be Like, 'you're Supposed To Be So Clean, But You're Talking About Cancer.'

Stand-up Comedy In The End, Unlike The Rest Of The Entertainment Industry, Is A Meritocracy. There's A Certain Level Of Undeniability You Can Work Toward.

I Need The Concept Of Mercy For Me To Have Some Semblance Of Self-admiration. So In Real Life, I'm Probably Somebody Who Is More Devout.

Hey, People Who Travel With Their Bed Pillow. You Look Insane.