My Parents Say That Even As A

My Bones Are Brittle, My Heart Weak And Erratic, My Esophagus And Stomach Riddled With Ulcers, My Reproductive System Shot, My Immune System Useless... I'm Not Going To Have A Happy Ending.

When You Believe That You Are Not Worthwhile In And Of Yourself, In The Back Of Your Mind You Also Begin To Believe That Life Is Not Worthwhile In And Of Itself. It Is Only Worthwhile Insofar As It Relates To Your Crusade. It Is A Kamikaze Mission.

I Developed A Deep, Abiding Fear Of Jeans, Which I Still Have. I Hold My Breath And Shut My Eyes When I Pull On A Pair In The Dressing Room, Afraid They Will Now, As Then, Get Stuck At My Hips And There I Will Stand, Absurd, Staring At The Excess Of Hips That Should, If I Were A Good Person, Be „slim“.

I Am Feeling Fine. I Remember These Words And Recite Them. These Are The Things You Say When Asked How You Are. After All, It Would Be Odd To Say: I'm Not Feeling. Or, More To The Point: I'm Not, I Have Ceased To Be. Where Am I?

Some People Who Are Obsessed With Food Become Gourmet Chefs. Others Become Eating Disorders.