My Mom Always Used To Say, "you

People Seem To Be Having These Awesome Sex Lives And I'm Just Trying To Find A Life Partner To Go Apple Picking With. What's Wrong With Me?

If I Can Muster Up Any Allure In My Life, At This Stage, I Wouldn't Mind Doing That.

There's The Psychotic Ambitious Side Of Myself That Wants A Fashion Line And My Own Network And Be Like A Combination Of Oprah And Gwen Stefani. And Have A Perfume. Definitely A Perfume.

You Should Never Have To Say Hello Or Goodbye. Even At Work Sometimes, And I Know This Is Very Unpopular, Is That If I'm Going To Work Every Single Day, I Don't Think You Should Have To Hug People Hello Every Single Day When You Come To Work. I Saw You Monday!

If I Could Make A Device Where People Could Just Intuit Everything You Are Thinking - A Little Cable You Plug Into, Like, A Usb Port, I Would Make A Billion Dollars.