My Dear Sir, It Haunted Me For

I'm A Working Stiff, Baby, Just Like Everybody Else.

It's Very Inconvenient Because Every Time I Finish, Let's Say, A Chapter Of A Book, I Think I'm Going To Ring Richard And Then Realize: Oh, Christ, I've Buried Him. I Buried Him Last Year.

Writing Is A Kind Of Performing Art, And I Can't Sit Down To Write Unless I'm Dressed. I Don't Mean Dressed In A Suit, But Dressed Well And Comfortably And I Have To Be Shaved And Bathed.

I Woke Up One Morning To Find I Was Famous. I Bought A White Rolls-royce And Drove Down Sunset Boulevard, Wearing Dark Specs And A White Suit, Waving Like The Queen Mum.

The Only Exercise I Take Is Walking Behind The Coffins Of Friends Who Took Exercise.