My Brother Asked Me Once, 'are You

Hillary Clinton Has Finished Writing Her Book Where She Says Her Marriage Couldn't Be Stronger, And Bill Just Finished His Book Titled 'chicks I Nailed While Hillary Was Writing Her Book.'

President Bush Is Trying To Put A Positive Spin On The Latest Bad Economic Numbers. Today He Declared Victory In The 'war On Jobs.'

Bryant Gumbel Is Thrilled About His Cbs Deal And Can't Wait To Start Alienating The Staff Of An Entirely New Network.

Tom Ridge Now Says We Don't Have To Run Out And Put Plastic Sheets All Over The House. Great, Tell That To My Dead Parakeet.

As The Democrats Get Revved Up At Their Convention In Boston, President Bush Is Fighting Back The Only Way He Knows How: By Going On Vacation! Ah, It's Nice To Take A Rest, Replenish Your Supply Of Smirks. The Vacation Was Expected, Because Bush Traditionally Takes A Month Off Every Summer To Relax And Avoid Reading National Security Warnings.