Mocking Hugh Hefner Is Easy To Do,

In Recent Years, Perhaps Encouraged By Competition From Mcdonald's, The British Hamburger Has Become A Credit To The Nation. At The Time Of Which I Speak, It Looked Like A Scorched Beer-coaster Or A Tenderized Disc Brake.

The Great Thing About Living Until You Get A Bit Older If You Are A Writer, And Especially A Poet, Is That You Have More Life To Reflect On. And I Think That If I Am Better Now - And I Think That I Am Probably Better Than I Was - Is Because That I Simply Have More To Think About, More To Get Under Control, More To Understand.

Twin Miracles Of Mascara, Her Eyes Looked Like The Corpses Of Two Small Crows That Had Crashed Into A Chalk Cliff.

When I Finally Embraced Abstinence It Was Because Of The Simple Urge To Work A Longer Day. Thus, Without Joining Alcoholics Anonymous, I Was At Last Able To Leave Piss-artists Notorious.

The British Hamburger Thus Symbolised, With Savage Neatness, The Country's Failure To Provide Its Ordinary People With Food Which Did Anything More For Them Than Sustain Life.