Milk Without Fat Is Like Nonalcoholic Scotch.

By The Time They're Ready To Be Thrown Away, Most Shoes Are Thoroughly Comfortable

Love Is More Pleasant Once You Get Out Of Your Twenties. It Doesn't Hurt All The Time.

For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed Hot Woman Of 40 +, There Is A Balding, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year-old Waitress.

The World Must Be Filled With Unsuccessful Musical Careers Like Mine, And It's Probably A Good Thing. We Don't Need A Lot Of Bad Musicians Filling The Air With Unnecessary Sounds. Some Of The Professionals Are Bad Enough.

I Believe The Money I Make Belongs To Me And My Family, Not Some Governmental Stooge With A Bad Comb-over Who Wants To Give It Away To Crack Addicts For Squirting Out Babies.