Men Want To Make Women Happy.

There Are Many Things You Can Point To As Proof That The Human Is Not Smart. But My Personal Favorite Would Have To Be That We Needed To Invent The Helmet. What Was Happening, Apparently, Was That We Were Involved In A Lot Of Activities That Were Cracking Our Heads. We Chose Not To Avoid Doing Those Activities But, Instead, To Come Up With Some Sort Of Device To Help Us Enjoy Our Head-cracking Lifestyles.

Sometimes I Think More Creativity Is Put Into Muffin Recipes Than Into The Rest Of Society Combined.

Then, Finally, The Third Year, Begging The Parents, I Got The Superman Halloween Costume. Cardboard Box, Self-made Top, Mask Included. Remember The Rubber Band On The Back Of That Mask? That Was A Quality Item There, Wasn't It? That Was Good For About 10 Seconds Before It Snapped Out Of That Cheap Little Staple They Put It In There With.

The Peak Of Being A Fan Is A Hotdog And A Beer And A Seat At The Game. There's Nothing Above That. Nothing Above It.

What's With This Weird Hotel Custom Of Leaving A Piece Of Chocolate On The Pillow? I Awoke Thinking My Brain Had Hemorrhaged Some Sort Of Fecal Matter.