Look, I Know These Rick Perry Jokes

Happy Birthday To Arnold Palmer, Who Turned 82. That's 41 Years Iced Tea And 41 Years Lemonade.

Success Is.... Happiness. Is That Too Deepak Chopra?

Fifteen States Across The Country Have Gas Prices That Have Dipped Below $2. That Means It's Now Cheaper To Buy A Gallon Of Liquefied Dinosaurs Than One Cup Of Coffee At Starbucks.

President Obama Broke A World Record After He Reached A Million Followers On Twitter In Just Five Hours. The Only Guys Not Following Obama? His Secret Service Agents. They Lost Track Months Ago.

Today Is Earth Day. Environmentalists Spent The Day Drawing Attention To The Earth, While The Earth Just Spent The Day Checking Facebook To See Which Planets Wished It A Happy Earth Day.