Life's Hard, Then You Die.

Your Self-esteem Is A Notch Below Kafka.

Well, If I Don't Get At Least 16 Hours, I'm A Basket Case.

If You're Not Failing, You're Not Trying Anything.

Until You've Been Kissed On A Rainy Parisian Afternoon - You've Never Been Kissed.

Arlene And I Have To Get A Divorce. She Thinks I'm A Pervert Because I Drank Our Water Bed.